LE MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL EXPERIENCE.

LE MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL EXPERIENCE. 

suppiez blog.

 i have le bluez. so I asked le public what they wanted to hear from moi and le overwhelming response was drugs, fashion tips, and heartbreak/love life. And why I get kicked out of so many barz and why therez a massive scab covering my back. i'll cover most of that but i am a bit sick of talking about drugz. oui, drugs ARE glamourous. but therez more to life peepz. I'll be edgy next blog. Right now ill probz stick to just le sex and le rock n roll.... 

le past month or so has been pretty effing tough. I'm all mixed up. I'm a little crazed. Working too hard and playing too hard. Le breakup bluez/ manic weekz that followed waz one thing, but I decided to try and slow down le partying a bit after my action packed holiday season (which you'll see snaps of in a bit). Buuuuut then..... le mf Cobra Snake, party photographer LEGEND came to town to shoot avec moi. So i ramped it up instead of pumping le breakz. Cobra was actually mega chill and laid back - v LA in a good way. When a party photographer comes to town you obvi wonder if he's gonna be a coked out douche bag. Happy to report he's far from it!!  I dont have an effing clue how he put up with moi for an entire weekend of raging. I mean, he def went home quite a bit earlier than moi most nights... but he's a veteran at following party girlz around. I think he actually said he was babysitting moi. I'm honored to be following in some it bitch legends' footstepz. And relieved i didn't drive him totally effing insane. The shootz we did will all come out over le next few months (his pics r insannnnely good) and i'll be sure to share them all.... hopefully we can lure him back to le city soon. 

After Cobra left I had to work a bit to wrap up some styling jobz. But after spending just one night in - I stupidly crawled back to le bar. For le past few monthz my friends and I have been going to the same mediocre af east village pseudo dive bar pretty much every time we go out. Why? its cheap, there's lots of seatz, and most importantly: none of us were banned from it! Well guess what?! Now we are!!!! Or at least we got epically kicked out after a very public scene. Here'z what happened: my friend threw a drink at a boy who really deserved it. I told her not to... but if I were her I would have done the same mf thing. In seconds security and a very NARC-Y bartender (eff u !!!) were all ova us and escorting moi to close my tab and get le eff out. We traipsed to a dive and stayed out all night with this random leather jacket guy  who ended up being mf annoying as eff. Then we sat in my bed for hourz blasting music and being idiots. I got eyeliner and typewriter ink all over my new bedspread. We almost went back out 24 hourz later but thankfully we couldn't make le walk to le bar without getting in a sleep deprived, emotional ass fight. Def a blessing bc had we gone for round two, something far worse than throwing drinks would have happened. Im sure of it. ******* EDIT OMFGGG LOLZ. just talked to one of my friendz and he says we only didn't go back out because the bars wouldn't let us in on account of my lack of ID and delirium. And we did do something bad - we walked by le drink boy's apartment building and screamed bloody murder for a bit and tried to buzz up. Whoops!********* 

I'm surprised we haven't gotten ourselves into more trouble lately, especially considering le way we blew through le holidayz. I know i've been saying this for blog after blog. But im mf partied out peepz. And I think le drinking is making moi bloated. After our fight on le city street we all finally parted wayz and i got some terribly sad newz that'd i'd rather keep off le blog. Too distraught to find my keyz, I wandered around le lower east side, a bit shwasted and confused. I cried on le street and felt bad for moi-self. Le party waz officially over. since then I've been hiding in bed: alternating between trying to get work done and crying under le coverz. Apparently therez a rager going on just a few blocks away on avenue a as i type thiz... but i just cant get moiself out of my room. 

Itz much easier to party less when you're in a relationship. When le ex and I were breaking up I started going out af . Probz to avoid le drama and heartbreak...but also it waz just exciting again. My ex def had to be my babysitter at times and i think im spinning out a bit while i embrace le overwhelming independence.  Its getting old tho. Trouble iz - my love life effing blows. No one ever asks moi out. I don't think im that effing disgustingly ugly.. and guys will sleep with almost anyone. So its probably my annoying ass personality and bad behavior. And my lack of straight male friendz. And even if I waz getting asked out on datez - i find most guys painfully boring and unattractive. Despite le slutty vibez... Im quite picky when it comez to love and sex.  I dont have high standardz or anything - most guys i've liked have been jobless, druggy losers that treated me like shit!

 Coming out of my long ass relationship, i deffffff am not looking for a serious boyfriend.. buuuuuuuuut i love crushes and attention. I tried to set some rulez for once: must be over 27 yearz old, no heavy drug users, no new new yorkerz, and no effing more musicians!!!!!!!!!! Well, pretty much right away I met a musician and quickly slept with him and started giving him LE MANIC PIXIE GIRL EXPERIENCE.  My mind was in officially in le gutter le moment I crawled out of his apartment for le first time. I almost left in one of his effing merch tshirtz for effs sake. We had a fab time.. but I dont think he's exactly obsessed with moi... which just made moi like him more, obviously. He told moi about his other dates and said I act like I only want him for sex and has used le words "weirdo, wild, free spirit, hot, crazy,  and psycho" to describe moi. I think maybe guys just think im an unfeeling, partied out bitch. In reality im a tres romantic, partied out bitch. who feelz everything wayyy too intensely and cries all le mf time!!!!!!!!! I dont think anyone is as bad at playing it cool as moi. 

Anyways I really did start to like this guy. at first he didn't seem to mind my psycho texts at all hourz and he's mega hot and sweet and so smooth it drives moi cray. But i dont think i'll hear from him again for reazonz that probz dont need to be blogged about and I dont even fully understand myself. So I've deleted his number in hopes it'll curb my lack of impulse control and keep moi from pestering him any more. Hopefully he doesn't read this and if he is: sorry for blogging about you plz dont be mad at moi xoxoxo!!! He left moi with a very chic, but quite painful parting gift: a massive scab covering my spine. Rug burn. I wouldn't recommend having sex on shaggy layered carpets, even it seems boho chic and rocknroll in le moment. And dont freak peepz, he was a total gent- neither of us realized it was happening until i woke up le next morning with crayballz pain and a wack scar that keeps getting worse. Cobra says it looks like im growing scales. Maybe I'll morph into an acoustic guitar player or something! its mega mega difficult to lay down to sleep, wear a bra, change my clothez, wear a purse, be hugged, or bend over. Totez worth it. Although... every time i move at all, i feel a sharp pain thats a reminder of a guy that doesn't like moi ....or at least cant keep up. At least im milking le injury for as many edgy picz as possible. I really do think its a fab, groupie-chic look. 

I'd say there are plenty of fish in le sea- i live in freaking new york city. But there'z way more hot girls than hot guys in le city and these jerkz know that they have le upper hand. Most peepz just date you to have somewhere to stay. itz hard to tell if you have a homless guy or a boyfriend in your bed a lot of le time. Also... i do worry that my reputation proceeds moi... aka i seem like too much trouble. But its not like im going to clean up my act for a guy..... thats like anti feminist or something. Lolz which remindz moi,.. while waiting in le snow for le musician to come get moi after i showed up semi uninvited to his pad - i tried to text him calling him misogynistic for making moi wait so long (like five minutes). but i couldn't even spell le word correctly so i just smoked a cigarette and shivered. Being single is a lot of smoking cigarettes outside almost strangerz buildingz wondering if you're gonna get left in le dark. 

A lot of my readerz have been asking for part deux of chicifying your insecuritiez. But im way too insecure and depresso moi-self this week. Peepz are also asking for fashion tipz. its like below freezing here in nyc so fashion tipz are pretty effing useless. everyone looks like shit. Im in a bit of a rut! But I think I can provide some fashion tipz based on my last month or so.... FASHION TIPZ FOR LE SINGLE GIRL: 

- keep massive circular sunglasses in your bag for le walk of shame. 

- buy loadz of vintage night gownz and teddies. 

- try to look like yoko ono. pose in picz in weird af positions all curled up and naked and shit and keep your hair in your face. 

- wear too much make up and perfume. 

- embrace impractical heelz. it makes waking up in random places more dramatic. 

- dont wear skin tight bodysuits. they look fab but they're terribly difficult to take on and off. 

- wear slutty face jewelz. 

- dont get black out drunk and post about your "bullemia teeth", and if you do, dont spell bulimia wrong like moi. Not a hot look. 

- miss madeline gave moi this tip: go on modelling agency sites for your city and find hot guyz then find their instagramz. genius!! 

- make up bullshit fashionable excuses to take off your clothes. ie: "can I try on your clothez?" spilling wine all over yourself, wearing impractical/uncomfortable dresses, bringing a change of clothez for wherever youre going next (even if there is no such place).

- rock your matted sex hair and last nights makeup. tres chic. even if you actually slept alone. 

- if someone is chatting you up at a bar and being lame or boring, just keep saying "thats hella dope" until he walks away. 

- wear silly hats for attention. 

- write your number for peepz out with a pen or a lip/eye pencil. much more romantic than a cell phone. 

- carry loadz of vapes with you so you dont seem like a tweaker freak and go into cigarette withdrawal when you're at a lovers place who doesnt smoke much. 

- try to wear pants as little as possible. 

- take loadz and loadz of slutty selfiez. this is one of my favorite things about being single!

......Please comment if you have more- i think i need a lot of help. 

Now, i present my messy ass misadventures, in pictures: 

MOI AT A DIMES SQ BAR: 

MOI BEING ROCK N ROLL: 

MOI GETTING TAHAR'S NAME TATTOOD VERY POORLY: 

MOI AT ANOTHER BAR WITH PIPPI + FRIENDZ: 

MOI AT LE AFTERZ CHEZ SPENCER: 

MAKING IT HOME TO MY GLAM LIL BED: 

MOI IN MY XMAS DINNER ELF OUTFIT AKA A CHILDS GYMNASTIC LEO: 

MOI IN SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE DOING LE DISHES: 

TAHAR BEING HOT: 

MIKA'S FIRST EVER CHRISTMAS DINNER: 

MY NEW YSL TRIBUTES: 

LE DELI RUN LOOKZ: 

MISS I BEING LE BEST HOST EVER, MAKING A SOUTHERN FEAST: 

DANCING LIKE MAD TO CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS: 

RANDOM BREAKAWAY TO CRASH A DIFFERENT CHRISTMAS PARTY THAT WAS OVER BY LE TIME WE ARRIVED. OUR CROUD RUNZ ON A LATE SCHEDULE: 

WE LEFT LIKE WITHIN 20 MINUTEZ: 

CHEESY FESTIVE DINNER AT PASTIS FOR NYE WITH LE BFFS: 

DRINKZ AFTER SINCE ALL LE PARTIEZ WERE CANCELLED CUZ OF COVID: 

PERLA'S HOMEWORK + HER CHIC POODLE: 

MOI COBRA AND MISS I AFTER SHOOT NUMBER UN: 

COCO BEING SEXY AT YET ANOTHER SHIT BAR: 

SHOOT NUMBER DEUX AVEC LE COBRASNAKE: 

POST SHOOT LATE NIGHT RUN TO LE PUNKY PAD TO CRASH: 

FYI THIS IS NOT LE GUY I SLEPT WITH. JUST SLEPT NEXT TO HIM ON A MATRESS WITH LIKE 4 PEEPZ. CUTIE THO! : 

MOI WAKING UP AND REALIZING WHERE I AM/ CHIC APARTMENT TOUR: 

ARRIVING HOME AND GETTING LE SUPPLIES TOGETHER FOR GUTEZ BDAY AVEC COBRA: 

MY DATES: COBRA AND MISS RACHEL RABBIT WHITE: 

MY BIG MISTAKE, GOING BACK OUT TWO DAYZ LATER: 

je suis so mf exhausted. all i have for le blog is my shitty little winter weeks these dayz. someone from from my hometown i ran into told moi they didnt know how much of le blog is real. unfortunately all of it. at least le way i see things! i sacrifice my privacy to bla bla bla blab for my swaggy readers. so merci af for putting up with moi and reading. 

namaste bitchez.