swagtonz 2!!!!! et fashion tipz pour les garcons

 Okay f.y.i. I'm not in rehab or having a mental health crisis as a few of you seemed to suggest!!!!! Its a mf retreat, peepz!! I'm relaxing and staring at le ocean or whatever body of water is outside the window. and my friend slash host is writing about fucking paintings. c h i c - n e s s . sophistication. 

I'm blogging, and going through my makeover applicants. My gorilla street campaign worked  . 

Oui ouiiii I'm mostly taking baths ... it's like my favorite part of life besides shopping. I'm doing face masks and drinking diet coke and reading Hollywood Babylon for the 3rd or 4th time and faux reading my other books and eating lots of food and smoking cigs on the sand. I believe in extremes.. at least I live by them. So I'm jam packing all my self maintenance into this trip. I'll go back to my shitty apartment and cheap liquor soon enough. Plus my therapist gave me a real talking to before I left so I'm doing  some important reflecting.... facing moi-self blablablaaa.

One of my amaze readers commented that they'd like some tips for men's style. So I buckled down by l'océan and churned em out. They're not all specifically for men only but they're geared to le masculine....

FASHION TIPS POUR LES GARCONS:

-American Apparel headbands (hippy style, around le forehead).

-MGMT, rolling stone wannabe headbands .

-Dash Snow hats.

-Beaded vests. Fur vests. Especially with no shirt underneath. 

-Cummerbunds. 

-Sequins AF.

-Taxi Driver inspired menswear (the movie). Oui, be that douchebag nyc cliche. So long as u have a sense of humor about it, it's swag . Bonus points if you and your friends all do this at once and match in a pack.

-V NECK TEES.

-SKINNY JEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-If you have a mullet , get ride of it NOW. absolutely NO EXCEPTIONS. 

-Tank tops/ bro tanks.

-Ill fitting Button up shirts.

-Flip flops .Even/especially in nyc. If you own birkenstocks or crocs THROW THEM AWAY NOW. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!!!! 

-Obviously prayers beads. Rosaries are okay but best mixed in w other shit. 

-Wearing as much jewelry as possible at once. 

-Pocket watches. 

-Binoculars.

-Monocles. 

-Carrying around newspapers and literary journals (don't read it) .

-Carrying around a skateboard but don't be wearing dickies or any skate brands or street wear.

-Sticking a pencil behind your ear as accessory.

-Night caps (the hats and the drinks).

-Capris / harem pants.. be careful. Tread lightly.think hare krishna. 

-Joining the hare krishna in union square. 

-Layering polo shirts. 

-Coonskin caps.

-Massive box mod vapes.

-Pinky rings.

-Multitude of scarves. 

-Obnoxious, scuffed Chelsea boots. Vans and Converse. Saddle Shoes! and vintage loafers (no sperry or gucci!!) no cowboy boots. no goth boots. please. 

-I declare cocaine chic again. Ketamine is annoying and on its way to passé. 

-Diet coke vodka as your drink order. Or jack Daniels.

-Red wine stained lips and teeth.

-Half finished laser tattoo removal where it's mega noticeable and botched. Great conversation starter. 

-Pb&J on wonder bread or baguettes on Le go.

-Raw vegetables on Le go.

-Green juice mixed w hard alcohol.

-Boxing boots/shoes (vintage).

-Suits. 

-Carrying a deck of cards with you wherever you go. 

-fake hound's-tooth, real hound's-tooth.

-Doing pull-ups on everything/everywhere you can.

-Fur in warm weather. 

-Moonrise Kingdom vibes. 

-Prep school uniforms (with an edge). 

-Putting your coat/blazer down when your date needs to walk over a puddle. 

Here's moi having bathtime...........a black bra and tights makes moi feel very YSL. 

Reading af............... 

Face mask......... old school green. 

Frances Farmer's page.... extremely legendary, a fave of Kurt Cobain.

my daily activities in le swagtonz: 

-listening to lana del rey (1st and most recent album)

-drinking tea. eating bread and cheese and beets.

-walking to le neighborhood shoppe for diet coke.

-channeling nautical prepster americanna energies.

-watching GALLERY GIRLS. Bravo's shortlived reality show. extreme recommend. My faves are the dowtown hipsters running a clothing store/gallery who cry a lot and wear bad red lipstick. 

-being bohemian. 

-looking at le green light on the water. 

my morning cig on le beach...............

prep school swag....

Julian et moi on le beach looking extremely classy. maybe a bit cruise ship employee-esq but when in ROme.....

always always hang your clothes when you unpack.....

american apparel vibes in forever21 sailor shorts...

promoting le hipster portal....

                                        

now i'm returning to hipsterville, usa. But spring has sprung, bitches. And that means lots of incredible, skanky outfits await moi. As always, merci a million for reading le blog. 

namaste.