OOTDs and BLABBBBing DECEMBER BITCHEzzzzzzzzzzzz

namaste dear readers! 

Outfit Of Le Days - December 2020 (realistic)

i tried to log all my outfits of decemeber but i lost my camera blacked out on molly on NYE. . so i lost like half the pics and of course they were the better ones....... smh maybe ill do a blogger lookbook next and recreate. more HARD WORK down le draino..... ill show you what i've got, dear readers. 

FIRST ! a list of things I'm fiending for this winter: 

-giant wraps/scarves

-white denim (covered in stains)

-metallic everything

-lanvin X h&M collab on poshmark

-tiaras, tiara headbands, beaded headbands (FreePeople/Alice+Olivia)

-white or colorblock tights (le American Apparel vibe)

-sequin leg warmers or ballet flats

-creepers

-riding boots

-SHORT nails, fashion blogger chic. 

-Alexa Chung's book "IT" (as in IT GIRL) 

-cheap red lipstick (more orange, not blue)

-creeper's (OUI!!)

-coffee with splenda and bad red wine and whiskey. 

-absolutely more smoking to be edgy

-Audredy Hepburn ... Marilyn vibe on le back burner. 

-elliot smith from a travel speaker wherever you go, 

 maybe the velvet underground as well.

-embracing poser-ness.

-starting and promptly quitting juice cleanses 

-leaving faux-exclusivity in the past - you're not that eccentric.  

1. 

oui oui, a little beat-chic (BEATNIK CHIC), sailor look. In my mind I look exactly like Alexa Chung at her peak in this look. With a touch of Pete Doherty w le hat of course! Everything im wearing (even the tights) is thrifted.. well except the Chanel and the cigs and diet coke. Funny story about moi and Alexa - I was wasted, yapping on my cell, smoking a cigarette outside of a terrible Japanese restaurant on St Marks (no not one of the famed good ones- one of the really really shit ones- the dining area had a giant window overlooking its basement which 24-7 seemed to have live improv comedy shows where people wore racist Japanese costumes and the food sucked. it existed soley for underage drinking like many "restaurants" in le East Village) ... anyways i was outside, wasted (prob off a little xan and lots of liquor and zero food) outside this shit restaurant for someone's shit birthday party or some sort of Parsons kid dinner or something and ... okay well first let me explain this was YEARS ago, had to be like 2017!! , so im puffing away feeling litty and all of a sudden  some long legged bitch in a mini dress carrying a basket as a purse strolls by. I had spent the previous year lugging around a massive, hand-woven basket from Morocco around as my bag all over NYC and getting made fun of  for it- and i was begging to see tons of basic no-lita girls (wet hair, low bun, sundress, MNZ low heels) wearing their own little Jane Birkin Peruvian fishing basket knock offs. If you dont know what im talking about - look it up. Anyways i was bitter AF bitches! SO i roll my eyes, take a drag, pause from my flip phone convo (yes, I was using a flip phone , I couldn't keep any belongings for more than a month in this period of my life so i was flip phone only for half a year), and spit out "OH LOOk it ALexxZZZzAAAA CHunggg with a litttttle bAsket bag". ANd this bitch gets closer and its really her! fucking ALexa Chung! Of course that bitch *just loves* Saint Marks!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh! lol I ran right back to the improv comedy! 

2.

itts a fashion flat bitchez!!! Remember these?? i added a candle for extra bloggy-ness. le top is by Miss I (obvi) from the aforementioned mannequin factory. hella prayer beads (funky town, st Marks), Jeffrey Campbell litas (we've discussed these before as welll), and le Chanel. . the white thong is key i think for this look- this was a house look but if i threw on a pair of white skinnies- fucking imagine. Nothing beats white on white on dirty white outfits. ANd white thongs are just hot like especially if they're a bit dinge in my opinion. Its v important here is to clash- white thong- dirty sexy bitch. OR you could do red crotchless panties with a pure-ish outfit. The white thong is from burlington fucking coat factory. If you live in nyc you really need to get  your ass to union square because this place 1) has iincredible views of the city via massive windows and no one cares if you do a whole ass photoshoot in front of them 2) the discounts are fucking incredible!!! you can binge shop your heart out on celebrity perfumes (yes they have Britney  and elizabeth taylor scents), BEBE home products/candles(yup its a real thing), basic bitch home decor, and if you're down to get on your knees on the dusty linoleum: rows and rows of fuggly underwear with cheap ass playboy, and slutty knockoff brand underwear. Im not even a klepto and this place makes me get that high just being there!!!!!!

3.

oui, the evolution of an outfit. ... lolz. SO this day was like COLD AF, like true winter. And I always say i prefer winter to summer because i HATE the heat it makes me feel monstrous and uncomfortable. But in the winter I just wear summer clothes! Idk theres something very chic about that to me. Bohemian af girls.. its very dowtown new york. Or it should be . In my mind its like.... extra glam LA girl, plopped in NYC.. you know like Serena Vanderwhatever energy! DO i even Need to mention Mary Kate Olsen (we all fucking know we all fucking love her we ALL get the references blEH im almost sick of itttt). So yeah it was COLD AF so I wore my itty bitty Canal St shorts (which have been my equivelent of blue jeans since I moved to New York- i've had this pair for 5 years and it fucking shows). And then I threw on my vera wang (prob licensced to TjMAx or whatever) sweater thats very skimpy and soft from Goodwill, buttoned it ONCE,  and then my newish beat-chic coat with le Mink Collar. First I tried my Marilyn-Monroe-print-boots, but it seemed too fully skanky for a daytime look. So i opted for my classique fringe sandals. Nothing like red toenails out on a blustery 48degree day! being cold is a mentality above 40 degrees! 

4.

 Mix-matching shoes is a very very classic hipster trick, dear readers. I strongly recommend it to **edge** up a simple look. I was wearing a one sleeved forever21 tight black dress i got on poshmark for $5, my Urban Outfitters golden period- esq square sunnies, and shitty tights with cat and whatever animal my coat is hair on it. And a cheap red lip and beauty mark. I was inspired by Paz de la Huerta AF. If you aren't following her- you must! I took the shoe mixing a step further- these aren't just different sequin ballet flats, they're different sizes! The black sequin pair, which come up a bit higher on the foot (MIuMiu and Lanvin ballet style), are just one half size too small at 7 women's. The red, however are marked size 6! Not sure how they fit, but it just goes to show that fit, like feeling cold is a mentality thing! Of course they hurt a bit, but the massochist in moi loves a little blood on my heels, plus when in real pain- I can always go the Amy Winehouse route and fold the backs of the slippers down and beat them up! 

5. 

THIS was JUST a DELI OUTFIT !!!! But a deli outfit in NEw York! Im a victim of the mythology. Like its casual in a really chic way.....you're just running downstairs or down the street - so its not try hard and you jsut throw on whatevers on your floor! I was just vibing in my room post shower and realized I hadn't worn my galaxy print leggings since summer ! So i put them on with my PBR v-neck and fringe fuggs and suddenly felt really cute and tumblr. I think I threw a bape hoodie or my mixed-fur ratty-fur coat over. plus wet hair. 

6.

Jesuuuuus. Alright this stupid look was for a photo to send along with all the assholes who ask for photos along with resumes on Craigslist jobs. I wanted a nice toned down version of moi. Not completely void of identity- but a "Hi, Welcome to SOHO restaurant, Would you like to dine indoor or outdoor today?" vibe as well. Do you think these photos are professional ish? I tried smiling and it looked SO creepy. The top looks a bit lame the more I look at it. Without the full ensemble I'd normally pair with it I look like a vintage weirdo of brooklyn. Which i guess i am but i like to live in a fantasy that I'm posh. And pigtails are probably too whorish but I cant style my hair without my trashy extensions. Im a pathetically unhirible bitch, obviously...........I do think I look a bit French in the second one... so at least there's that! 

*UPDATE- no one fucking responded after i sent pics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. 

Heres what i threw on to walk in the mega cold night to walk 30mins to visit Kiss at work  and makeout and get groceries. nothing remotely interesting going on here..... just that i'm actually wearing legging and 2 pairs of tights under the jeans and 2 tops plus a sweater under le fur.  this is a shlub moment .

8.

 its MY BLOG and i think i look AMAZE . I've been wearing this dress (forev21viaPoshmark$5) non fucking stop! Added le red prayer beads (Tibet shop on 2nd ave-  has the best jewelry everrrr) and threw on my ffringefuggz cuz this was just to run to le shoppe for some broccoli and prosecco.

                               Feel like le  Bushwick Audrey Hepburn! GOd dont you just love that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9.

This was what I wore to smoke cigs/drink chez moi, then with jeans and uggs to go shopping in my neighborhood the next morning. dont worry i redid my pigtails before i left le house. But see how honest and realistic im being? I love this jacket because it makes me feel lik a vintage betch who owns a million pairs of booties/loafers/ too much turquoise jewelry. 

10.

Didn't actually wear this out, just bought a skirt that was too big and was seeing how I could wear it. considering its covid, ill prob only get to wear it around my house.- but that suits the dress. also i had just gotten out of the shower, even when im alone i dont normally let my hair look like this. these pics r extremely effing RAW and REAL- im too lazy to take more than 3 self timer pics on my camera.  and i know what you're thinking- this dress is wildly unflattering. but when you love fashion, you sacrifice. plus sometimes the unflatteringness HEIGHTENS the fashion. Its like a flex: Im so chic i dont need to look flattered, im so hot i can afford to look a litte frumpy. that vibe.  all u need is extreme confidence. i think i should make this micro mini tho-- might have to do some actual sewing (all i did was cut 2 holes for my arms). aka, ill prob never ever wear this again. hmmm should i turn it into a scarf?????????????????????????????????

11.\

Wore this plus the mixed fur coat to go to le dollar store. everyone kept saying "arent you cold?!" and honestly i wasnt, high boots keep you so warm and i've spent five years stomping around new york in broken kitten heels and ballet flats- my legs are fucking used to it. and we've been over this- cold is a mentality. 

12.
wore this to get a martini / go back to le chelsea hotel.This dress is super unflattering but in my mind it ads to the flex/chicness. and im obsessed with the boots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seven fucking DOLLArs bitches. i think their cheapness warps back around into them looking expensive. The boots make me feel like i have "the london look" from those makeup ads. 

13.
GOLD LEGGINGS. luv em! seemed like a perfect pairing with my moonboots for the first day of snow. v eurotrash, non? Wore this to go feel the snow and smoke a ciggy around 12pm

14.
I was too cold so i added this sweater. im wearing it inside out cuz i hate the izod logo on it. love a prepschool sweater but can rarely actually get myself to feel good in it in public.  Went to get groceries. I got yams,cucumber, brussel sprouts, avocado, carrots, tuna salad, bagels, cheese, gnocci, and vodka sauce.  Smoked some cigs, made/ate roasted yams/brussel sprouts with avo and a poached egg. sent some emails, drank diet coke, watched a movie, did some yoga, tried to chant, craved martini. 

15.
 dragged moiself out of bed to go shopping for an upcoming job/shoot, promising myself I wouldn't buy ANYthing for moiself. I  left on the thong and destroyed/stained merch my friend made for me that i slept in, put on my mom skinny jeans that are the perfect fit  -oversized skinny jeans are cool-, slid on my amy winehouse wannabe flats, slipped into my cheesy (almost too y2k? u tell moi..) little fur cropped coat, added le red prayer beads, and my sunglasses. then i bought cigs and shuffled to le store. 

15.5
guess what! i did buy myself stuff ! i dont have a shopping addiction, I USED to have a shopping addiction and NOW i have a bit of a compulsive shopping habit. Like if im in a store i will shop. But i only spent $18. so whatev. Anyways can I pull off these white jeans? its something i've been wanting to wear for sooo long i think they'll look fabb dirty, especially with ballet flats.  I also got a tshirt dress, white jean shorts, ballet slippers, and white tights. Ill prb show u later.

*update, i did later wear them but, again, rip camera 1*

16.
okiii so this isnt really an outfit but its what i slept in. 

17.
i wore this to a job ..... whoops.... looking back i realize my nipples were totallly visible but whatever. love an all white outfit. a fab hatmaker asked me where all my clothes were! lolz! 

17.5
Here are some outfits i considered for another day of a gig. Depresso Esspressoooooo. god.

has anyone ever seen the movie "love and other disasters" starring britney murphy? its amaze she plays a fashion girl in London with a half accent explained away with some weird transatlantic drama. anyways shes obsessed with audrey hepburn and so these outfits all kind of were inspired or justified by that character's energy. 

18.
this outfit is about to reach its final form and its going to be EPIC. i've been dying to wear the skirt but Kiss fucking hates it a lot. But anyways i've found the perfect way to wear it and it isnt this but its close. 

19.
ooh lala. i wore this on a BLESSED day. Miss I and i ran some very hilarious errands in the city (pret, a bookstore, trying to go to GOOP). and i found a legit fashion blog ARTIFACT on the 2nd Avenue sidewalk in a pile of trash! The MAN REPELLER's SIGN. like clearly the trash was from her moving out of her office cuz there was just a pile of old CR magazines and scarves and then this massive sign!! One of the most legendary bloggers and she ran that bitch for a lonnng time. They shut down a month or two ago i think! Sometimes i just KNOW god is real. You can watch an early interview with her on my NYLON TV post from a few weeks back! 

---several really really really cute outfits followed. ---------------------------------- 

then i blew it! 

i know it seems like I HAVE WACK STYLE! and for the first two weeks of decemeber, i realyyy did. but i flexxed it the fuck up........ and then lost the camera. ] and really,  we all HAVE WACK STYLE and im just a major bitch! 

i wont bore you guys with what i did this month. i was MIA a lot cuz the holidays... being depressed.. downloading sims... etc. but i live to blog.

Namaste and Happy 2021 bitches. 

bisou bisouuuuuu

PS-

*also just a PSA im looking for some legal advice (noooo im not in TROUble i just have some clerical issues with le state or whatever) so if  for some fucked up reason anyone reading this  is a lawyer or knows how to deal with identification matters in New York------- please comment or DM moi.