PARTY GIRL MATH+VODKA CLEANSE+LIGHTING MY HAIR ON FIRE.

PARTY GIRL MATH, LE VODKA CLEANSE. AND LIGHTING MY HAIR ON FIRE.

   SUPPIES ! i've been effing upset this week. Work is fab, my Richard Kern bootleg shoot for Interview magazine came out (shout out andy warhol, my mentor/check it out here online/ or at newstandz in print), annnnd someone gifted moi a 10 ft x10 ft painting of moi-self!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  a bunch of peepz texted moi that there waz a giant image of moi at an nft party, i found le artist, and he ended up gifting it to moi! itz wayyyyyyyyyyy too big for any wall in my place so it just layz on le bedroom floor in a mega obstructive tube of canvas. I literally stumble over my own vanity seventy times a day! But besides that my bedroom is looking pretty swag now that le ex has cleared his shit out. 

SO. why. am. i. upset?!!! life should feel perfect! ILL TELL U WHY. le energy in my space, and inside my angry lil body- is far from namaste. Wuts a blogger to do..?

I considered blowing 80 buckz on a juice cleanse but guess what bitchez! i read le labels at juice press and shoved that shit right back into le fridge. A turmeric ginger  bla bla bla has as may calories as a mcdonalds cheese burger. eff dat. 

So nix le juices - i decide to cleanse with vodka!!!!!!!!!!1

le day le ex came to move all his gadgets and shit out : my genius fashion designer bff/houseguest for le month and I hit le barz in an effort to avoid le drama. We have bloody marys at 1pm, vodka sodas 4, and shots at 7. Not a mega fan of vitamins or supplements, I do some linez as my booster.

As we make our way deeper and deeper downtown, we call in more and more peepz to join le big breakup bar crawl. We had a blasst. We couldn't find any bartenderz to play lana but whatevz.. i had to kiss a dj last time annnd write my number on his arm in lipliner to make that happen and it was so not worth it anywayz. 

I dont know wut we danced to but i know i waz rocking out as le sun started to set on gloomy ass NYC. 

Then, to complete le party girl cleanse? I LIT MY HAIR ON FIRE.

oui mf oui. let moi explain. 

Time for a lesson in party girl math: 

ex 1. stripper heel timbs PLUS benzos at le after party PLUS soundcloud rappers EQUALZ scraped up bloody knees at 7am on a sidewalk somewhere in brooklyn. (2019)

ex 2. five inch platforms PLUS dive bar till last call EQUALZ barfing in le bathroom and banned for life. (2018) 

ex 3. champagne picnic in central park PLUS times square liquor store PLUS dirty drugs from an east village bouncer EQUALZ ambulance on avenue a. (2020)

Here are some equations I solved in le past few weekz: 

1.  chattering on loads of molly all night MULTIPLIED BY one thousand ciggies EQUALZ no voice for dayz. 

2.  letting moi hold le coat check ticket TO LE POWER OF running up a bar tab EQUALZ i lose le ticket and they don't wanna give moi my fur coat back. 

3. Sitting moi on your bed PLUS red wine at 6am EQUALZ i just destroyed your expensive bedspread. 

..Following, peepz? Then try putting this one together:

-I'm on vodka cleanse in le midst of a breakup bender. I lean over over le bar to order another effing drink. There are little tiny candles on le counter. My hair is long. I'm wearing a fur coat that has a least half a drink spilled on it. 

VODKA CLEANSE.  PLUS HAIR. PLUS. FUR. PLUS OPEN FLAMEZ. EQUALZ I BURNT MY EFFING HAIR OFF. 

e equalz m c squared motherefferz. You wouldn't belieeeve le smell that took over le bar, My friend that workz there says that we aren't allowed back but I dont think  it'll be a perma ban.  Oh! I also burned some of my fur coat off. Somehow le moment was captured on camera.

LE BEFORE:

LE DURING: 

LE AFTER:

...I spent all of effiing covid growing my hair, damaged from years of bleaching it sky ferreira blond, out to a healthy state and this happenz!  luckily for moi,  It was only a petite chunk and even if i have a bald spot (which i dont think i do),  I can make that edgy. Maybe throw some glitter over le exposed scalp or something. 

FYI (and because i have a hunch my effing parents read this shit) I'm not totally spinning out. Le hair burn waz le worst of le chaos by far and it waz more funny than dark,. And everyone knows youre SUPPOSED to burn shit when you break up af! I know its usually love letterz or photoz but I like to collage that shit onto my wallz! And when le hair burnt I did feel some form of cathartic release! My shoulderz legit have less weight on them! Maybe it was meant to be. Im a spiritual person. 

I've stayed sommmewhat true to last blogs plan of not being a complete nightmare, broken hearted mess. At least I haven't had any public melt downz , which for moi is a huge accomplishment. Thingz are def a bit... rocky between le ex and I.. im not really a lover to friends or friends to level type of bitch. And I've been loving being alone and doing whatever le fuck i want. whatz really effed is that I haven't had time for retail therapy... and FYI RETAIL STORES: whyyyyyyyy are clothing stores open during le DAY only????? I have work! im. on. set. Stores should be open in le later afternoon and early to late evening so chic peepz can hem and haw over ballet flatz without being rushed. If i ever open a clothing store it wont have offical hourz to add an element of eccentric/vague exclusivity... but anyone thatz anyone will know to come between 4pm and 1am. 

I did get some mega mega MEGA vintage t-shirts from my amaze friend Kahlo, who graciously dug through his high school hipster swag to find theze:

Dont you effing die?  most moi shit ever. Le two meg moods: 
 HOLLY GO LIGHTLY OF LE LOWER EAST SIDE
and YOKO ONO/ALEXA CHUNG COSPLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More good newz:  Le ex stopped making weapons or at least posting them on Instagram!!! But even if he iz still making them: dont freak.  its not like he'd actually ever kill moi. And he's been in LA anywayz.  obvi I  haven't been doing anything remotely LA. thats just not my style. In fact, I've barely left downtown on le east side all fall/winter. 

I'm getting a little but sick of all le party pic blogs i've done the past few monthz. But i actually think I may have covid (anyone whos anyone in new york does right now). So this could be le last one for a sec. I'd imagine I'll be spending a lot more dayz like today: sitting in my bed in a night gown, drinking a 40 oz off half an addy, vaping like mad, and being a writer girl. So let moi know in le commentz what long form shit you'd like to read. Stories? Q and A's? Certain kindz of fashion tipz? City gossip? Stew on it while you scroll my amaze chic baller ass pics from le past week or twoooo: 

I went to a rock show in le east village! i luv indie peepz: 

god i wish i could sing. if anyone needz an off beat tambbourine player for their band plzzzzzz let moi know!! I took some molly and chased my friendz to a bar. I found them in le bathroom. Tahar left her effing balenciaga bag in le sink with le water running: 

god look at that water stain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We rolled around on a water bed at le bar then met up with Miss Madeline and aftered with random nyu bros until i ruined one of their beds with red wine and he excused moi of stealing his e pill(i totally did but denied it af). 

A few dayz later it was MF THANKSGIVING. We saw house of gucci. note to directors: dont make an ass movie three hourz long with that much smoking. you're just making us fiend. We followed that with a thanksgiving bar feast of hot dogs, fries, and cocktailz. Even tho it waz frigid, we sat outside so we could smoke as we ate. Holidayz call for luxuries like that: 

Tahar discovered that someone had snipped all le filterz of her cigz off clean! Ill let le readerz know if she ever solves le mystery. 

We had a private dance party with Perla and Fraser in le empty bar: 

Phase one of make le bar play "dealer" by lana. aka breaking into le booth: 

after tahar was escorted out, vip style, I did le kiss- lip liner move. PLZ DONT CALL OR TEXT MOI. itz not my real effing number. 

As i said, not worth it. We ran across le street and met Pippi and Kahlo: 

We met whoever all theze peepz are: 

Fraser and Perla kept it a touch classier: 

This happened: 

And this: 

Couldnt tell you who le young one iz, but the older guys an east village staple. he makez siiiick art so if you ever see him deffo buy it: 

Everyone waz really feeling le holiday kissing spirit! Fa lalalalaaaaa. Dont remmeber how that night ended at allllllllllll. Bar nightz blur when you go out too much and i always get stuck going to le same three placez in nyc over and over until i've burned all my bridges there. We went back to the very bar we left off at to beging le PARTY GIRL CLEANSE: 

THEN HIT LE SCENE OF LE HAIR CRIME. Special merci to Destiny, for putting up with our bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : 

she quit le next day. im serious. But we are still friendz!! Luv u destiny! And look how pretty Ava is: 

Then le whole hair fire thing happened and then OBVI, we left le bar: 

I hopped on a whatever le fuck this izzz: 

no one cried, no one got in a fight... so we really held it together if you ask moi. BLow through a few more dayz and im at ANOTHER BAR VERY LATE AT NIGHT. i meet a surfer dude with swag: 

He kind of looks like iggy pop. le next day i rewear that exact outfit: 

But i change le coat and add LITAS just cuz:

And i have lovely sushi din. Few dayz after that and GUESS what? im head back to le same mf sushi spot in soho!!! old habits peepz! it was much colder this time and I dressed accordingly: 
tragically, le occasion for sushi waz fraser's farewell dinner. His trip had come to an end. I really effing miss him living on my couch. Post sake and salmon, we headed back to le bar for a third mothereeefffffing time like that week to send him off. a fab crowd showed: 

annnnnnnnnd i even ran into my friends John and Giane!!!  : 

blablabla i sleep i work i sleep i work i sleep i work blablablaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....i say i wont go out Friday, but after a fitting endz with booze, i change my mind. Miss Iconic is hosting a party at her art deco pad: 

I prefer diet, but i respect any trashion hoarding: 

i make it home relatively early work blablablasleepbla again... i wear my gold leggingz like 6 dayz in a row. On le night i meet Mika aka trustfundgoth for a drink and to give her a copy of le interview mag story she modelled for moi for... i slip on my pizza dress 

i giver her le goodz: 

she lookz sad but i swear she luvz the pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we catch uppies and run into Alexandra who i barely know and maybe had never even met in person until this night but i make her model: 

Le next day i meet up with my intellectual friendz aka some of my only friendz who have graduated college to work on our semi secret project: 

we work for like 15 hourz. we are technically in le stu and im sort of acting so i drink all mf day. i start with shit bloody maryz but by 1am im swigging from a bottle. 

and when i recover from that i trot to fidi to meet back u avec mika to go to a gallery opening. look at her perfect shoezzzzz:

mika and i have been friendzzz for like 5 yearz. we have a lot of great storiez... Let moi know what you think about a little interview or collab blog in le commentz. 

Wishing all my dear readerz a happy holiday season!!!!! plz WIsh moi health happiness and most importantly NO BOREDOM while i figure out if i have covid. New York is getting a bit bleak with thiz lil variant sitch... im not ready for lockdown winter again, i have a lot of good shit coming up that i've worked hard on.... but then again. Lockdown winter got moi to le chelsea hotel, on dmt, and waz how i started thiz bloggy in le first place. If i've taught you peepz effing anything it should be there's no situation that can't be chic-ified!!!! 

merci for reading.

xx

NAMASTE EFFERZ.