!!!! UNSOLICITED FASHION TIPS // PRE SPRING HAUL LALAAAAAAA

another haul lala peepz!

i keep shopping bc i'm a compulsive person and live close to my favorite thrift shop where like everything is under $10. will any of these items see le light of a non corona day? maybe not... but its recycling, bitches!!!!!!!!!

BUT FIRST.....

here's what i think you should be getting ready for le spring:

-books to carry around/fake read at le park. dont go so far as to like hold the book upside down, but def dont try hard to make it look believable. faux nerd swag only.

-bubble dresses. 

-any sunglasses that aren't tiny influencer fuggly little slits. enough. 

-dumb chic flasks. maybe one with a mustache, rhinestones, kate moss , lit af on it.... you get le vibe. personally i've never found flasks to be big enough to carry a worthwhile amount of liquor...buuuut I'm always impresssd when someone pulls one out.... 

-CIGARETTES. especially those sexy little skinny ones. or like dunhills. the colored ones that used to be tumblr af. aestheticize it.

-Keds. little white sneakers. I want to see bitches really pushing the vintage modcloth/alexachung''etsy core thing hard this season. lets murder it now so we can be done with it by 2022.

-patchy fake self -tanner. this just is the perfect way to walk around post pandemic winter. duh. dont be afraid to let that shit streaaaak af. 

-NO PEARLS. fine maybe pearl stud earrings. but NO pearl necklaces!!!!!!!!! like what the fuck makes any of you look at tiktok pretty eboys and think "oh, let me try that". if you arent a teenager (teenagers- you can and should wear everything), take out the dangler you rocked 2018 on, take off the pearls, and chill the eff out (im looking at you, gays). 

-light fabric shawls. to cover up le skanky sunny day whore dresses.

-short AF white shorts.

-sailor shorts. and sailor tops. and sailor dresses. nautical af. 

-train conductor/ marching band af shit. 

-the most obnoxiuous, moon rise kingdom ass, bullshit hipster hats you can possibly find. do not wear these in winter- it wont hit right. save them and wear them when its hot and totally impractical and attention seeking. 

-anything peak tavi gevinson would've worn. im talking pre rookie mag. 

OKAY, NOW LE HAUL.............................................................. and fyi no, clearly i didnt wash my fave or anything before i did this so just enjoy the grungey chic realness. 

i know. boring start. but these shorts fit so perfectly too tight. and i have a sequin problem.

see? more sequins. this is too big af but i pinned it tighter and am into the sack dress vibe. chic potato sack. will be wearing for breakfast at tiffany's (duh).

this will be my 10th sequin item purchased this winter i think. do i have anywhere towear these things? no.. but sequin are always cheapppand i have big plans for the spring. sequins should always be worn casually, like during the day. its flexier and more chicer to wear a sequin dress to run errands with last night's makeup smudges and dirty fingernails in the am than to a club at night.. thats some 1oak new years bullshit. im really proud of how non slutty this is. classy babes. 

this adorable h&m dress makes moi feel like blair waldord. i like how it pushes my boobs up and is extremely girly.

okay u knoooow i luv a one shoulder number. and gold. so here's that.wardrobe motherfucking staple.

okay greek goddess nightmare lol. i cant try anything on at le store so some times there are flops. i think i mayyyy have saved it though... always rip out the lining of shit. whats the point of a shear dress that isnt isnt shear. at the least itll make a good beach cover up or nightgown. 

okaythis was actually the flop. usually bebe dresses fit me perfbut what do you know... my boobs are to effing small to keep it up! thanks god, i love you anyways. in these poses i think i made the dress look allllright... but trust moi this shit is unflattering as fuck. i'm always telling people to go to a tailor with their clothes and thats its so worth it- but inever do it moiself. I get over shit fast so im not sure its worth le investment.... annnd i kind of like unflattering swag. if you dont think u have swag... get your shit fitted. 

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okay feeling a tad insecure. i look like a basic ass bitch. but its kind of hot in a emrata wannabe kind of way, non?i really was wanting a basket ball gym class jersey cuz i've been playing a lot of sims and  in the game i have all my sims wear them. 

i . love. fringe. we know this. and i really dont have a lot of "tops"-- just part dresses, wife beaters, and statement t's.so voila. 

voila part deux. anotheR top! the blue is amaze and... i guess this would be my 11th sequin item of le winter. i think i look so unslutty ! 

peacock hoodie. i always almost buy it when i see it so this time i caved and pulled the five dollar trigger. i'd really like to wear this with an actual or faux peacock feather. chicness. 

oh ouiiiii! here are le shoes. idk why i wanted thiese basic ass shoes. theyre like topshop wannabe margiellas. which is so passe aka so moi! i needed something practical, the new york slush is fucking up my ballet flats. i rally wanna stomp around and leave topshop track marks everywhere i gooooo.

okay this i actually got at L train vintage aka boring hipsterville. ineeded a new leather jacket for hangover days where i channel LES bitches with bad stick and pokes. 

             

PS- i got this mega swag hipster hat. its like not on my head properly in dis pic but its amaze. i wanted a dash snow ish type hat so i truged through le snow and took the L train to STELLA DALLAS. extremely "vintage" vintage store. there were some dash snow wannabe asshole options but i really didnt want to spend more than 20 bucks so i went fot his one. im excited to wear it in le summer with skany little outfits and glasses and prayer beads. 

oui, oui, these are cheesy af. i know its kind of gross but i actually love having semi ick or at least shit painted toe nails with sandals or peep toes. you gotta take the boho vibes almost all the way to crusty if you're really commited. i got these at a costume shop for $15 and theyre completely shit quality and my feet are gonna get FILTHY... but i cannot wait to wear these in spring with a fur coat and in summer with nothing. this summer is white and gold af fyi. dirty girly. 

... i also got a black sailor cap so i can copy an anna dello russo outfit. more on that lata.... 

and fin..........

hope u enjoyed le lil haul.

ta ta dear readers.